the search

for peace continues

 unabated,

 yet there is no such thing,

there is only

holding, like

the most delicate

precious

Ming vase,

this apprehension that is

our very birthright..

to appreciate this jewel

is not easy at the best

of times

to accept This

as It is,

unadorned, unvarnished

the dirt, the mess

 the excrement..

all is part, all is part..

the violence

the inequality

the folly of catastrophe

all is part, all is part..

I learn not to judge,

neither to discriminate

to be open,

to be compassionate,

to be okay with This,

and that which I fear,

which I do not understand..

the search

for peace continues

 unabated,

 yet there is no such thing,

there is only

holding, like

the most delicate

precious

Ming vase,

this apprehension that is

our very birthright..

oh!  let me dig deep..

allow me to find truth

within the most menial

of chores..

(who would not,

upon viewing a panorama

of conventional beauty

be driven to

ecstasy and thrill?)

but who, if truth be told,

surrenders the will

when, on hands and knees,

scrubbing dirt from

soiled floor,

is thus transported?

now -  this is my task -

to give of myself

wholly, completely

to every machination

of the daily round..

discriminating not

‘twixt sacred and mundane..

standing: cold, wet,

filthy grey, nauseous,

 urban decay beheld -

nothing on the face of it

 to feel good about,

 and yet..

 opening to that moment,

 was indeed transported by the beauty

within the desolation and decay..

long may I feel open to all moments -

good, bad,

 and especially,

indifferent!

*

stepping back

into the nether regions

of our ‘mind'

what does one find?

jumping, with faith, off

the cliff of rationality,

judgement, opinion

habitually

sour the path..

again and again,

as persistent pilgrims,

do we venture back..

into darkness,

hostile, bewildering,

unknown, uncharted

yet enticing, beckoning..

as water -  powerful, implacable,

yet instantly yielding

to  our thrust..

the nether regions,

treated with respect,

unfold  -

glorious panorama!

the like of which,

once glimpsed

ne'er forgotten..

indeed in truth,

there are no boundaries,

neither barrier

to our emergence at

the boundless convergence

into Mind..

stepping back

into the nether regions

of our ‘mind'

what does one find?

 glimpse of Eternity,

whole ness,

one ness..

bowing deeply

we inevitably return

to the mundane,

the ‘real' ‘now,'

tho' tempered

with  glorious

memory and vision

of our inevitable

destination..

*

*

we must live at

each moment with

 humble awareness,

such as of

this rising sun,

shining brightly,

crystal clearly

into an unimpeached

azure

empty space..

*

This is all;

forget thinking,

just apprehend..

This

Eternal dawning,

arising of Life,

Thus..

*

bumping up to the edges of things

it just does not quite add up..

i was robbed today

i bow deeply to the misfortune

and I thank the whirling

mysterious forces of life

for graciously reminding me

of my ephemerality and the peripheral

nature of my existence

alongside the grand scheme of things..

today did not quite make the grade

but ne'ertheless

was quite beautiful in an

unanswerable

and inexplicable way..

i dropped things

i missed things

 just didn't quite ‘get it'

i served

i sat

 gave thanks

 messed up

all grist to the mill..

tomorrow is another day

i pray for the chance

to move alongside the mayhem

and cruise happily

mindful of my little self

learning his place in that big wide world

that whirls forth indiscriminately

thirsting only for channels of growth and productivity

regardless..

praise be

little me

praise be!!

words,

being vehicles

are not strong enough

to convey the love, gratitude

and infinite grace

that engulf me upon

the most fortuitous unravelling

of my journey on this planet..

especially, most especially

for the unadorned great fortune at

having by my side a beautiful woman,

a tender and upright soul, one who

allows me my thoroughly self-centred conduct.

someone who came to me at the very moment

that my fortunes changed, to accompany me

upon the latter stages of my present journey,

showing me unrestricted love, enabling me

to resurrect my self-belief and to turn around the spiral

of degradation into which I had sunk.

thinking about the circumstances of our fortuitous meeting,

it should come as no surprise -

for at an early age, perhaps around five or six,

I use to dream of her, my perfect, loving and beautiful soul mate.

we were to do everything together, and as one

the boundless joy and happiness we found in each other's company

would form an armour of unshatterable happiness

into which none of the world's bitter misfortunes could penetrate.

I knew in my heart that this was no mere dream,

but a circumstance of immense precipitation.

the following forty years were not happy ones -

a broken home, then being cast away into a cold emotionally sterile

world led to a young life of dissolution and reckless self absorption.

yet the dream quietly smouldered away in the background,

fuelling me through hard times, lonely times,

melancholy times and blue times..

then, half a lifetime later, one quiet, unprepossessing saturday,

she walked into my life - I did not recognise her at first..

when light enters, a blind person merely perceives

a subtle change of atmosphere

but does not behold the brilliance..

miracle of miracles, the hand of kismet restored my vision,

allowing me redress and my aging but ageless dream

cast off its slumber and became reality..

now, many years later, the incredible weight of time

presses against my mortal frame and,

in perceiving the final turn of events,

causes me both joy and sorrow alike.

to be apart from her is something unimaginable,

yet this certainty grows daily stronger.

I only hope, at my passing, our shared time will have cast

a loving radiance across her path and

allow her solace upon her remaining travels.

our love will definitely live on through the wondrous fruits of

our union -  a bright loving daughter who will

carry our love into the uncharted reaches of the future.

god bless you my intrepid young

family for my greatest

good fortune..

deep

within,

scanning..

*

light of awareness

piercing velveteen darkness..

limitless,

yet containing all manner of being..

*

universal embrace

engenders amity and belonging..

*

no separation exists.

within such obscurity

intimacy - brilliance,

understanding,

acceptance,

peace

resting in Mind,

being quiet.

observing natural objects:

sky, sun, trees, wind -

these elements

strive not -

they simply manifest

just as they are..

learning lessons

of silent presence,

Mind instructs

when present in

natural equilibrium..

moreover, Mind heals and develops

wisdom and compassion

for all manifested appearances

being all Its inherent reflection.

no separation exists until we

step back in question..

natural joy springs up

unabated, unexpectedly..

the still waters of reflection

expand to fill a universal ocean

of peace and understanding

and involvement in every aspect

of creation..

nothing is required

nothing expected,

‘cept to rest quietly

in deferential contemplation

of this gentle reality

which is ours

to savour.

irksome boredom, acknowledge - let it go..

familiar thoughts of self-recrimination, notice - let them go..

routine cycles of self-absorption, label - let them go..

niggling chronic pains of the body - acknowledge, let them go..

noticing sounds encompassing you: the ticking clock,

incessant interior whistle of the blood coursing through the skull,

gentle murmur and cooing of winter wild birds flitting around the garden,

little one plonking down the stairs, into the living room -

TV on, chatter of children's TV - acknowledge, let go..

neighbours' rising, clatter of kitchen-ware, murmur of voices, raised in objection - notice, let go..

absorb these sounds, embrace them - let them go..

the breath, regular - customary merging of attunement,

hands held in formal embrace, palms together, thumbs lightly touching..

the routine of sitting,

gratitude for this cycle of

living awareness.

peace within,

rising to meet the new day

with equanimity..