wonderful it is to sit again,

although one's belittled frame

scarce supports frail structure

and weariness bestrides best efforts..

the ticking clock has a merry cheer now,

no longer the ominous threat of life passing,

more of a chuckle of good times to come..

so, so grateful to have reached consummation

of ‘treatment' - moments within that period

when self-pity conquered will and all

seemed so bleak, forlorn and insurmountable..

thankfully one held on, strong -  came through,

the light now brightening and life

appearing to offer hope and redemption,

the efficacy of strong faith.

released

from fear, ache -

the indefinite..

for it is just enough, sufficient,

more than adequate

to breathe the received life

of this moment..

a confusion of mixed

thought and feelings

vie for supremacy this

sun-day new..

a blessed contact with all

that is real and imagined,

fusing together in a dance of love, grace,

gratitude and most fulsomely,

 acceptance..

 stillness, and a knowing that all

assumed lies not past, neither future-ed,

 but, simply, amazingly, now -

 here and now..

mollified sunlight dappled ‘cross dinner table,

gentle aroma of breaking night's fast

composed and presented for priceless family

wafts through one's senses..

speckled rays filter through tear-stained windows

the light from a moistened sun cutting through

early morning rain..

emancipated from life and death.

with bows...

100 days...

of retribution, absolution,

mind and body pollution..

this has been the worst and best of times..

so many bitter lessons learned,

so much love and compassion shown...

end of period so plainly in sight,

one's embattled frame gathers strength

and fortitude for the challenges ahead..

like shell-shocked soldier

looking - dazed, yonder,

the world beckons..

one looks forward with some trepidation

to enjoying simple pleasures,

so long denied or relegated during

battles fought..

one prays for no repeat assault,

and vows to live each day

in gratitude and awareness

of healthy perspectives bestowed

and regained.

one last onslaught to withstand,

and once again to take up the mantle

of friendly skirmish and banter,

merging with the hustle and bustle

that is our configured birthright.

hot,  bulky flushes

scrambled and vying for

thought's supremacy..

a confusion of images and ideas

coalesce and inhabit this moment..

truly a lifetime's erudition

distilled into jewelled sharpness..

all the best, all the most feared suppositions

rush together in a frenzy

of hope and expectation..

it is beauty, it is distemper:

more - my state of being,

in sequential absurdity.

suffolk countryside - emergent with calm:

we strode out on a mid - november morning,

gentle earth surrendering to our tread..

pacific sunbeams, tawny yellow, reflecting the late season,

sparkling ‘cross fecund softly rolling fields..

shafts of ochre brilliance reflecting through

bright - green blades of grass,

creating a kaleidoscopic dazzle..

the lonesome craw of crow, a scampering rabbit -

a late season swallow flickering through broken bough..

reflective banter and enquiry flowing effortlessly ‘twixt us,

two long - time, loving, life - long voyagers..

at each turn, nature's delight and surprise:

a stately fox, big amongst deep brown rolling turf,

playful amongst scavenger birds, tail held proudly aloft,

free from human interference and burden..

here and there, shards of flint,

propped up in sticky brown sod,

crystalline, reflecting autumnal loam..

at last, the vista opens,

eyes raised to behold a panorama of emollient serenity,

scattered trees, fields, shimmering gaily in a light blue haze

far as the eye can see, quietly rolling on, acre ‘pon acre,

mile upon mile, into the far distant expectation

of that which lies beyond..

we pause to take stock - an infinite peace reigns,

a memory, unspoken but deeply felt,

of the timeless expanse of earth's story

susurrates and unfolds..

we ramble on, past gaily painted farmsteads

with their ancient east - anglian eaves

pointing sharply toward the starched, azure heavens..

we arrive presently amongst local cottages

a return to habitation - and habituation..

a magnificent pastoral church,

flag of the union flapping sombrely in the autumnal haze

from its imposing dark age, square turreted tower,

holds centre stage ‘midst country commune..

‘in our thoughts..'

silently, entering through a beamed corridor,

breathing deeply the ancient woody, ethereal odour of medieval worship,

I gaze up admiringly at latticed wood beams

which protect and sustain the longevity

of faith and submission..

I stand, muted for a moment, taking in the tranquillity,

remembrance of young lives, lost..

so I may now stand here in stillness and glory,

humbled and grateful, awed and a' fear

of those withering young souls' dreadful plight,

precious wreaths gathered ‘gainst whitewashed,

pinched walls and galleries of wooden benches

like so many numbed soldiers holding forth..

I give thanks and finish our delicious

affray into this timeless landscape

by building a hearty, crackling wood fire

in our hidden, crumbling hideaway

deep in this memorable suffolk paradise,

reflecting on the glory and wonderment

of unspoiled natural harmonies we beheld.

~*~

with lightness of heart

oh morning present,

I prepare to sit and

give thanks..

*

merging steadily and surely

within the healing glow

of divine providence..

*

I bow joyfully, raising open palms aloft

in honour of the restorative elixir of merit

that has afforded me

a wondrous remission

from this noxious dis-ease..

*

with faith do I remain

opened of heart and mind

to the peace and serenity within,

breathing in the sweet heavenly

nectar of restitution..

~*~

she is our greatest friend, truest ally

yet, oft times she eludes us...

she is mysterious -  can be fickle;

her presence is always welcome,

as many times, her absence causes

untold hardship and grief..

she is serene, wise

and always shows us the optimum way

of handling any circumstance..

she teaches us that life's vicissitudes

are best handled with respect and dignity,

she is never hurried, never quick

to rush to judgement...

 friend to all sages, saints and less skilled mortals:

lethal foe to cousins pride, arrogance

and immaturity,

I yearn her constant light and guide,

turn to her when bereft, walled in

or lost for direction.

she never disappoints and readily

shares her wisdom to all who call upon her nurture..

she is a real partner to all souls,

 a constant living authority,

fear not to call upon her at any time

any place, for she will never forsake you,

waiting quietly in the wings,

guaranteed to bring you

peace, joy and succour..

she thrives and blossoms,

especially within a still and reflective moment

and always gives generously of her time

to those with humble mien

and open heart..

with grateful bows to

our ubiquitous, quietly magnificent

and inimitable helper,

dear Patience.

~ * ~

frettin', slidin', screamin', crying,

achin', bakin' - moo-zik making..

liein', sighing, singin', flying,

kickin', purring, prayin', dieing,

soawl food - settin'  the mood

I lurve the bloos...

~ * ~
*

~ * ~

fluffy, airy puffs of moisture,

tingling -  trickle down

 from vaporized ether..

*

dance of fruition,

the breath of knowing -

a grasp of the unfeigned,

a gasp of the surreal..

*

fragmentary  forgetfulness,

our earth turns: 

 some universal smiling,

an unknowing wink..

*

all is well,

embraceable you,

 embraceable us..

it had to be:  thus.

*

(abundant affirmation:

 spin a thought

for your dissolution...)

*

a grasp of the authentic,

a gasp of the surreal..

*

all is well,

embraceable you,

 embraceable us..

it will be thus.

~ * ~

having emerged

virtually intact

from a battle

with ‘the darkness..',

herewith

relating self-assuredly,

journeys to nether regions:

to find oneself

lost, disoriented,

without the least energy,

 moral and physical fibre depleted and spent...

 a hard place, gentle reader,

 one which affords

a glimpse of living torment..

with essence shredded,

mind and spirit shattered,

time stands still - and punishes..

each breath betokens

such gargantuan effort,

each thought

frozen and paralysing..

each gesture monumental anguish:

a Nubian tunnel, eclipsing reason,

espousing ragged self-pity,

 rage, despair, oh..  and anger,

yes, anger.

behold!

as circumstance would have it,

blessed relief finally manifests..

faith and determination, snail-like,

inscrutable, return to enrich and nourish,

pouring loving oil over troubled spirit..

gradually, imperceptibly

the love that is the essence and glory

of living and breathing

asserts its ranking authority..

fellow travellers

able to make their presence

and vibrancy felt once again..

thank the Lord for the wisdom and joy

of regeneration and the bounty, inevitability

and glory of refreshment and grace!

‘upon a withered bough

a flower blossoms.'